It’s always like that. When my heart just beat for a lady, when i convince myself to walk forward towards her and offer her something just loveable, i get stuck saying nothing, making me look weird and creepy and the lady get scared of the weird guy. Each time i did offer my phone number in those situation, they took it… but it was only to be sweet cause they just didn’t care about it and wanted to leave the uncomfortable situation the quickest way without risking to offend me and who knows, make me act an agressive way with her! In these situations, what i do feel, it’s to be intimidated by the size of her heart i can see through her eyes, her smile. I could never get mean, i am myself vulnerable with my heart beating like a hammer.
Year after year, i put my mind back on a way to make my life a great thing without any woman i could love in it. I try to work my way towards a career i will really enjoy. But there are these days, these mornings, you just cannot not think to all of those who took your phone number who didn’t called back the handsome sweet guy. That’s a difficult moment, the moment you depreciate yourself of not being so wonderful, when you compare yourself to all other naughty and mean men to who, sweet womans do stick to… because girls i suppost, don’t really like sweet men, they prefer to take a mean one and work a hard way making him a little more sweeter.
The best is only yet to come. This next year will be full of new career opportunity for me. I hope this will make me forget i am a creepy guy pretty girls just want to run away.